I am a teenage girl, as I have said before, I think. Being a teenage girl is a very confusing thing, mainly because of the other teenage girls we have to interact with and having to deal with our own personal findings. Being a girl or women in this world we live in now is an interesting thing to go through. You have the pressure of the future looming over your head, not to mention the pressure of stereotypes and other women’s views of on one another.
To understand why teenage girls act the way we do, you have to understand what we go through.
Being a teenager you have to get up at the ungodly hours of the morning, which for me is very hard to do. My school actually starts later than most high schools which is better for me. I drag myself out of bed and down to the kitchen to make myself some coffee, because without coffee it is very difficult for me to have a filter. I than go back upstairs once I make coffee, 2 spoons full of cream and 1 spoon full of sugar, to get dressed and do my make up. Which shouldn’t take long but I make it long. I like my make up to be as perfect as possible so it takes me like 40 minutes to do the wings, which is ridiculously long I get annoyed with myself a lot during this point in my morning. During this my coffee gets cold because I forget about it so I run down the stairs to nuke my coffee then in that minute I run back upstairs to throw all my homework and papers into my bag. Once I hear the ding of the microwave I check myself in the mirror then hurry back down the stairs. By then it’s already like 7:30, I get up at 6:30, or I try to. So I gulp down the last bits of my coffee and throw together my lunch and breakfast that I bring to school. I brush my teeth and then put my shoes on. Surprisingly I am normally the first person to be ready so I go on my computer to kill time.
Why do girls feel the need to put on so much make up, or spend so much time on how they look? “It’s obviously because they are trying to impress a guy they like” No. Most of the time it’s because the person is unhappy with how they look. (let me say this is not why all girls do things, I probably know as much as you do on my gender, but this is what I know about some teenage girls.) The media has ingrained in our minds since the beginning that if we do not have their product we are not beautiful, or we are wrinkly, or our hair is greasy ect. It’s set up to make us feel like that so we can get whatever product they are trying to sell us. Being kids we don’t always understand that, it’s not in our front of our brain. We do not wake up and think “Oh I don’t have this type of make up, I’m ugly.” It’s over time, in our subconscious. And that is the worst, because we do not have control over that. We can say that these commercials do not affect us, but we are still buying make up.
I buy make up because I like it, and sometimes because I don’t like how I look without make up on. But admitting that is the first step to changing that. I am trying to change that, but I mostly wear it because it has become habit and I generally like putting make up on.
So back to my average day. It takes between 20 to 30 minutes to get to my school from my house. Because I am learning how to drive some days I am the one in the drivers seat. I am normally early, once again, to school because my parents have to get to work before school starts. Once I get to school I got to the cafe we have and make my breakfast then sit down in a little nook of the school to read. Not many people are at the school that early in the morning so I seclude myself, so I can read or do homework that I forgot to do in the previous night.
Lets say it’s a Monday morning. So I’m probably more rested then I would be in the middle of the week.
The first class I have is stage combat, it’s an alright class. We are currently learning how to stage sword fights. So just an average type of class. I like to wear dresses a lot so I have learned to wear bikes shorts under my skirts/dresses so I don’t “have to act like a lady.” Meaning I can kick or jump on someone without having a anime panty shot.
Somewhere in my day I have to go to the bathroom. Which shouldn’t be as stressful as it is, because you are just going to the bathroom. But the bathroom is where girls go to gossip, check their make up, and judge everyone. If I am lucky no one is in there, but that is almost never the case. I have noticed that girls tend to judge other girls on things that happen to everyone, like lets say, periods. I don’t know why but whenever I am trying to unwrap my pad or something whoever is in the bathroom just stops talking and it becomes instantly awkward and I find that hard to deal with. Like I know I have no reason to feel awkward about it, but I do. So I put a thing on tumblr asking girls if they feel awkward about unwrapping pads or tampons when there are other girls in the bathroom. It’s weird how many girls felt uncomfortable with it or felt awkward about it. Like every girl gets her period so why is so awkward?
Also sometimes when I walk into the bathroom there will be girls in there talking and they’ll just stop talking and stare at me. This isn’t the normal who’s-at-the-door stare, it’s the why-the-fuck-would-you-even-come-in-here-when-we-are-talking-in-here. It’s the worst.
At the end of my day I come home with a bag full of homework that I am expected to do either for the next day or by the end of the week. And the school expects us to sleep? It’s either sleep or good grades. Somehow I have managed to have both, but it’s very difficult.
Double standards is a huge issue that I see people struggle with, and I myself struggle with a lot. The google definition says double standard is a “Noun: A rule or principle that is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups.” A frequent double standard that I see happen is when people, particularly males (I’m trying to write this so it’s not male bashing, because that is bad and just as mean as sexism.), tend to say to girls “oh why do you feel so self-conscious, you are beautiful,” or “you’re so pretty when you laugh, why don’t you laugh more” or “why don’t you like to wear bikinis?” etc. When a girl wears something that is a little bit revealing or she likes it and feels pretty in, males will make rude comments (not always though, there are nice guys out there). Some will comment on their body figure, or “what rack she has” or “how her ass looks fine in those shorts.” Sometimes girls have scars, and say she has gotten enough confidence to show them or wear something that shows them, people will make negative comments on them. That is unacceptable, making rude and mean comments to someone who has scars on them is hurtful. The person has been through something so bad that they feel the only way to take control is by harming themselves. And saying that they shouldn’t wear revealing clothing, or that it’s disgusting, or anything making a comment on it in a negative way, is not helping the person in any way or form. So next time you ask a girl or anyone why don’t they wear a certain thing, or do this or do that, think back into comments that you or anyone else may have made on them. Then see why we don’t always do that.
That’s kind of the main double standard I see a lot of girls struggling with. It’s a difficult thing to navigate through.
People say confidence is attractive in a girl, but then girls will make fun of each other and guys will make negative comments on our bodies. You expect us to have a high esteem level for ourselves, when we are bashed by our peers? That is double standard that I have the hardest time dealing with, because I don’t have a lot of confidence in myself.
Being a teenager is weird, you have all these emotions that you don’t always understand. Then on top of that you have to go to school and have friends and a social life. It’s just a weird part in life that everyone goes through.