By the lake


My family and another family rented a house right on the lake. I left my computer at home and only brought my notebook and four books. One notebook was for my novel that I am attempting to write, and my other notebook was for little things that popped into my head. I am sharing with you the notebook that was for the little things that popped into my head.

June 23, 2013

I tell him of her lost life story, he replies with the statement “Well she will just have to live it again,” as if living life twice is a simple thing to do.

June 23, 2013

In the beginning of summer I fell in love with how the moon enveloped the lake.
How the lake and the forest      melt together to create an
amorphous blob
How the moon drips down into the lake
and how the light from the houses bled into the lake
filing      the       water        to be golden
I fell in love with nature and out of love with you

June 24, 2013

The dock is quiet, except for the waves that come once and a while and crash against the rocks. And for the chatter from the house that reverberates off the dull shimmering lake. The dock is the opposite of quiet actually, it is full of sound. The cicadas whistle, the water laps at the rocks as if it was a dog, the kids screech in the distance as they get thrown into the water by a sibling or a parent. Once and a while the loon will make a noise and it will echo for a few minutes prolonging the eeriness of its call. The humidity press down unto me, making me want for the cool waters to surround me. But I fight the urge and let the lake side breeze cool me. Noura comes down, her flip flops making a noise as she rushes down to sit at the dock on the white chair. My thoughts are disturbed and my words float away as if they were on a boat.

June 25, 2013

The world seems more alive in the morning. When we are sleeping the bugs and birds come out, they whisper and giggle to one another. Telling stories of their nightly triumph. I want to preserve this moment, this moment at 4:24 on a Tuesday morning, in a time capsule. Save it for my children so they can know that when the earth is death from war, the earth was once alive. It thrived like I did once. I much like the earth is most beautiful when no one is watching. When the morning sun sneaks its way up the staircase to catch a glimpse of it’s reflections on the water. The birds will sing to it, telling it of it’s beauty.

June 29, 2013

I want to take all the rope in the world and make one big lasso
I want to lasso the stars and drag them closer to us
We could hop from star to star
Naming the unnamed after our favorite things
Each star would be different and we could absorb all of its energy
Soaking it into our skin
We could bask in the energy of our galaxy we named.


Day 86, year 1


Day 86, year 1

Celia and I have found an okay hiding place for now. I’m not going to say where in fear they might find this. But we’re safe for now. It quiet and we cannot see the burning city which is a nice change. But the quietness is getting to me. I cannot sleep, but that’s not new. Celia’s leg is healing, slowly, but it’s healing. The puss and redness has gone away, now it’s itchy. I remember my mother always saying that when a cut was healing it would get itchy. Or maybe that’s what I imagined my mother saying when my cuts got itchy.

Last night there was a raid in the town we were in.

Honestly I do not know how we survived. We hid in a tube. It felt as if we were in there for months. We clung to each other out of fear, curled up for hours in the small tube. My neck is still sore from the way it was bent. But it’s better than the alternative.

They entered the house we were in. Celia and I huddled together as close as possible. They opened up cupboards downstairs, throwing the rusty pans across the floor. They were trashing the place. There were footsteps coming up the stairway to the hallway. They walked by the door, the door nob jiggled and opened. In that moment I felt my heart stop beating, I thought I was going to die. I do not know how he did not see us, but he looked around the room, glancing at every empty space in the room then closed the door. If Celia’s cut was bleeding he would have sure smelt it and we would have been captured.

When he looked into the room I could hear him breathing heavily. There was a distance between us but I could feel the tickle of his breath on my skin, making it crawl. All I could hear was his breathing and our hearts running fast. We held our breaths as if it would stop our heart from beating.

They left the house 20 minutes later, then we were finally able to breath fully without worrying about being heard.

They must have looted another house in the town because there were shrieks for the rest of the night. The screaming stopped sometime in the early morning. When we left we didn’t dare check to see what happened to them, knowing it would be a very gruesome scene.

We left the town as soon as the sun came up, we got to where we are now by the end of sun down. It’s dark now and the only light we have is from the stars and the moon.

I remember as a child I would laugh at that saying, but now I see how serious it is. Living in this world is much less of a joke than I used to think it would be. I used to think living with the threat of dying each day was a fun adventure, that traveling from empty town to empty town was going to be a beautiful thing to see. Now I cannot help but look down at my feet whenever I see a town.

I wish things were back to how it used to be. But I know it never will and we will have to build a new world, somehow.

The forest is my room.

The air seemed static around me, raising the hair on the back of my neck. I looked into the sky, the grey gloomy clouds were rolling in. From a far you could see the light come from the clouds and strike down on the ground.  Sheets of rain followed behind the dark cloud. In the distance I could hear the booms of thunder.

“Molly!” My mother called, “Please come inside the storm is coming.”

I grabbed the book that lay on my lap and bolted into the house, not wanting to get caught outside in the rain. Mom sat in the chair her hair pulled into a tight pony tail like it always was. She was staring at the wall, her eyes glazed over. I walked past her and ran into my room, skipping every other step on the staircase.

My room was neat for a 10 year old’s, my bed was made and all of my clothes were put away in the bureau. My cat, snuggie, was curled up on my pillow. I walked over to him, resting my head right by his body.

“Hey buddy you won’t leave me this storm?” I muttered to snuggie.

She nuzzled her cold wet nose into my face, I took that as a no. The rain began to beat down onto the house making it’s own melody on the panels. Snuggies ears perked up at the sound of the rain on the panels. He made the weird squeaky noise that we called meowing and pawed at my face.

“What is it?” I asked him softly, my voice barley going over a whisper.

He “meowed” again  and I took that as a notion to look outside. It was dark, it looked like it was night time. The sky was beginning to have a circus and a light show. I squeezed my eyes shut as the thunder got closer and closer.

I don’t like thunder and never have. I was sensitive to loud noises, ever since the fights. There was a loud crack and then the sky lite up. Snuggie and I jumped, his claws digging into my soft skin making me cry out in pain and then hit him softly on the nose. I pulled my book out from under me, somehow I laid down on the book. I took it out and to get away from the sounds of the storm and got lost in the adventure that lay before me. Snuggie began to purr in my ear as I read on and together we waited out the storm.

I opened my window, the humidity lay over my like a blanket. I leaned out my window the trees bending down from the weight of the water. It smelt like rain, the mix of pine and the fallen sky. I closed my eyes and got lost in the smell. If I closed my eyes it felt like I was in the forest rather than my room. The wooden sill that was digging into my hip bone was a tree branch that I was leaning on to look at the river that was close to over flowing. The trees of the forest bent down to me to tell me the secrets of the trees. I listened. I parted my lips to let the scent roll onto my tongue and I could almost taste the fog and pine. Snuggies nose on my elbow was a snail crawling onto my arm from the branch digging into my hip bone.

The rushing sound of my imaginary river kept me calm and safe. There was a knock on my door, bringing me out of my forest.

“Molly,” my mother said softly against the wood of the door frame “Can you come help me with dinner?”

I sighed and pushed off of the window sill, closing it before I left my room. Snuggie following behind me.

The Emerald That Smelled of Peaches and Cream


The streets were dark, all the lamps and power had gone out. The storm had done a number on the small town in Vermont. A soft glow came out of most houses, people were beginning to bring up their candles and lanterns from the basements. Smoke rose from one particular house on the street. Inside that house an old man who sat in front of the fire place.

His legs were stretched out as he laid back on the couch. His daughter was off checking up on her kids, making sure they were alright. The old man stared at the fire, it tickled and danced upon the wood, occasionally spiting at the old man for staring at it. The old man was interrupted by his grandchildren who were screaming at one another as they ran down the stairs. They gallivanted into the living room, the eldest Eve pushed her little brother Marc out of the way so she could sit next to the old man.

“Mama said that if we asked you nicely you would tell us a story,” Eve said proudly as she snuggled into her grandfather.

“Did she now?” The old man asked as he pulled Marc up onto his lap.

Marc smiled and nodded “Yes she did!”

“So pleeeeease grandpa! Will you tell us a story!” Eve said, drawing out the e’s in please.

The old man tired to hide a smile, “I dunno I am a busy man.”

“Oh please please please!” The two begged.

The old man laughed, “oh alright I guess I can spare one story, what do you want to hear?”

“The one about how you and grandma met!” Marc piped up quietly.

The old man smiled sadly, “how me and grandma met eh? Alright, well. It was about 50 years ago, I was in my early 20s and your grandma had just turned 19. We lived in the same neighborhood for a few years but we never spoke to one another. I always tended to stay inside my house, I wasn’t much for socializing. But I worked at the Summer Festivals that our town put on every year. Her birthday just happened to land on the opening night of the Summer Festivals. Her friends decided to take her out that night.”

The old man was interrupted, “is that when you two met? Did you kiss her? Is that when you two fell in love?” Marc blurted out.

“Maybe if you don’t interrupt him, you’ll find out!” Eve sighed at her little brother.

“Yes Marc that was when we met. I can still remember to this day what it was like. The festival was out on the board walk, the air smelled of bad fired food and the sea salt from the ocean it was by. I was there working, I worked the Ferris Wheel. It wasn’t the best job, I would watch happy couples go on it. Sometimes someone would propose on the top and they would come down beaming or in one case in tears. That job made me feel lonely, but it’s how I met your grandma. She was in line with her girlfriends who were chattering around her, she looked bored. Beautiful and bored. Her hair was orange and curly bring out the green in her eyes so perfectly. I used to call her Emerald because of the color of her eyes. She had this beautiful baby blue polka-dot dress on that went down to her knees. She was the most beautiful women I have ever seen. She held herself in confidence, but you could tell she was shy by the way she held her arms in front of her chest. As she got closer in the line, the butterflies began to multiply in my stomach. Then suddenly she was next in line. ‘Lacy, we’re next come on, give the man your ticket.’ her friend said snapping her out of her daydream. She shook her head, rustling her curls and looked at me with her bright green eyes. She apologized and handed me the ticket. Her voice was soft and melodic, I fumbled with the line I always said to people ‘have a nice ride.’ She giggled and gave me a cute smile before running off to catch up with her friends. Her hair smelt like peaches and cream as she ran past me.

Later that night I was closing up the food stand, another job of mine I had, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and there she was. At first I was confused at why she was there. She stuck her hand out to introduce herself, I managed to grasp her hand and spill my name out. She giggled at my shyness. She said she recognized me from around the street and decided to wait for me to finish up so I wouldn’t have to walk home alone. Her kindness took me off guard. But her kindness led to our future. We ended up taking the longest way home possible, and talked into the dead of night.”

“That’s it! You met at a festival?” Eve asked, feeling a little put down at how ordinary her grandparents met. She thought their story was more romantic.

“I think it’s soooooo cute and wonderful,” Marc gushed, he liked the simplicity at the story. He cuddled into the old man and closed his eyes, letting the heat of the flames cover him like a blanket.

Is that her bike?


Ellie walked down the main street, her heart racing from running away from her loud friends. They were teasing Ellie for liking her, none of her friends like her. They thought she was rude and unnecessarily rude to people around her. But Ellie saw the beauty in her. The way she would flip her hair as she was beginning to work, or how she bite her lip when thinking. Her eyes were a deep chocolate brown that Ellie could stare at forever. There was a time when Ellie accidentally bumped into her, their skin barley touched but it left a tingle in Ellie’s arm for the rest of the day.

“Ellie, slow down. You walk to fucking fast.” Her friend, Jonie groaned.

Ellie turned around, smirking. “Well you shouldn’t fucking tease me you ass.”

Jonie made a snort noise and continued walking towards Ellie’s house in silence. Their other friend Pete caught up to them, sensing the tension between the two he did not say anything. They weren’t that far from Ellie’s house, so the walk wasn’t too awkward. But as they got closer to her house they noticed a red bike laying across the grassy yard.

“Did one of you guys bike here and I didn’t notice?” Ellie asked.

“No, that isn’t ours.”

They were puzzled by the mystery bike but shrugged it off figuring it was one of Ellie’s little brothers bike or something. They walked into the small house, kicking their shoes off in the door frame, and traipsed into the kitchen. But there was someone sitting at the kitchen table, with long black hair that was pulled into a bun, sitting atop her head.

“Is that her bike?” Pete asked.

The girl turned around, a cute smile on her delicate face. “I have a name.” she said, a corner on her mouth turned upward into a smirk.

“Christina what are you doing here?” Ellie asked, paying no attention to the glares her friends were giving her.

“I came here to talk to you alone,” her chocolate eyes were glaring at the two teenager behind Ellie. “Do you mind?”

Ellie opened her mouth, but the words would not fall from her tongue.

“It’s fine, we’ll leave.” Pete pipped up. Ellie looked over at him, not expecting to say that. “Just call us after or something.”

Jonie glared at Pete but allowed him to drag her out of the house. The two girls were left alone in the house, both staring at the doorway. Christina stood up, gaining Ellie’s attention.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Ellie said, her voice quieter than usual.

Christina walked closer to Ellie, making Ellie feel like she had just begun to run and she was out of breath. Her hands became sweaty and she grew nervous. The look in Christina’s eyes was something Ellie had never seen. Christina stopped right in front of Ellie’s face, their noses almost touching. Ellie could smell her perfume, cotton candy and a hint of coffee. Ellie drew in her breath slowly, not wanting to seem to nervous.

“Uh..wh-” Ellie began to speak but was cut off by Christina putting her soft lips on hers.